6 years ago I decided enough was enough.

6 years ago I had a single moment of clarity from God and jumped and did not look back.

6 years ago I said good-bye to a way of life I knew.

6 years ago I closed the door on who I once was.

6 years ago I reached for Jesus and have kept reaching since.

6 years ago I was brought back to life by the Waymaker. 

6 years ago I knew what needed to be done.

6 years ago I stepped out in faith not knowing how I would do it, but knowing God will.

6 years ago I said no more.

6 years ago I stopped running and started healing.

6 years ago I made a promise to protect my son and I have ever since. 

6 years of fears and tears and shame and regret and guilt and happiness and laughter and grief and thankfulness and love and loneliness and friendship and redemption and glory and truth and awe. 

6 years of turning to God in every moment so I do not turn back to the people, places, and things that broke me.

6 years of dying to myself.

6 years of celebrating life.

6 years of hard conversations.

6 years of falling on my knees and giving everything to the One who created me.

From the days that I know I will never use alcohol and substances again to cope, to the days where I have to intently focus on praying every moment of every day not to succumb to whatever battle I am facing.

So many days I have spent rejoicing in my rebirth.

So many days I have spent standing in the authority of Jesus’ name because temptation is near.

Tears fall freely down my face as I marvel at God’s glory and grace. 

A sinner, a wretch like me, saved by the cross on Calvary.

I will never deserve the gift He gives.

I will never deserve his faithfulness.

But that is the point.

Knowing that I am nothing without Him is why I am here.

Knowing that I cannot do this without Him is why I am able to keep going.

5 years spent in active addiction.

6 years clean.

If you see me with tears in my eyes today, rest assured they are not tears of sadness. They are tears of joy, peace, thankfulness, and a true knowing of who I belong to. 

Great is Thy faithfulness!